My fight against my body

              A phone call to remember                                      I have numerous phone numbers I am always hesitant to answer, I know they are either medical or about my daughter who is battling her own issues. As I see the number pop up on my phone which came along with a name I knew as soon as I saw it was not good news (I was not in Utah when I got this phone call). My heart decided it would become so fast my head could not keep up with my thoughts, "Should I answer? What type of message would I get if I didn't? If I had questions how long would it take for me to get ahold of her again to get them answered?" As I walked to a quiet place to take the phone call, I could hear the words I was dreading to hear. She was speaking so fast and my mind racing with questions and wondering "Why me? Why can't I just catch a brake?" I was on a conference call, there was more than one person on the other line. "Tamarra you need a full colectomy and

                                                   ..One Year Ago.. One year ago I made the choice to put my life in the hands of a total stranger.. Trusting a stranger is never an easy task, I relied a lot on my family and friends reassuring me this was the right way to go, for I had gone as far medically in Utah that I could (or so I was told). I have a million feelings about this "anniversary", a lot of anger, sadness and failure. This was my first procedure they did not allow someone back with me while I was being prepped.. Bryan waited for an hour before they finally let him back, I updated a few people while waiting and Bryan tried all he could to hide his fear from me (jokes on him I already knew and was hiding my own) we sat their quietly me constantly asking him if this was right.. How was he going to run the house without me.. I was reassured "Katie's got this, I will be home with our children and you will always have someone here with you. You'